September 13, 2006 - 4:31 p.m.
Wow... it's been a while huh?
I think I've changed a lot in the last 4 years. Probably more in the last 4 years than in the previous 8...
I've been trying things on for size, durability, wearability, comfort, expression, protection and adventure...
I think there are things that have developed about myself that I'd like to drop off at the second-hand store... I don't need them anymore, or I never really did.
I will find some time in the next month to purge again.
November 07, 2005 - 2:10 p.m.
-
I guess I do hold a grudge...
I'd always wondered about that...
I've just never acted on one before.
May 09, 2005 - 11:12 p.m.
Unless your name is Atlas...
Standing still won't make you strong...
April 29, 2005 - 12:02 p.m.
No, really...
I think I'm losing my mind this time, this time I'm losing my mind...
My guts are in such a roil, but it's not what you think... There's going to be some major purging going on, tho...
September 23, 2004 - 5:03 p.m.
needs
ice cream, hot cocoa, body massages, smell-goodies (candles, lotions, etc.), and lots and lots of loving care...
I need attention. My requests go unanswered...
September 13, 2004 - 10:31 a.m.
hello stranger, goodbye.
Admiration is something I feel for many people. But sometimes I find myself realizing that I don't really like those very same people.
I might admire their artistic talents, or their quick wit, or their confidence in the face of all challenges... But when it comes down to it - they're not nice.
(Nice is such a wimpy quality in most people's eyes... If you are describing someone and start out by saying they're super nice, then most people will assume that said person is also super ugly... When describing people, you're supposed to give their physical qualities first, dontcha know, or else it will seem that you've skipped over that part for a reason... We are, all of us, guilty of this, whether by nature or through conditioning...)
Anyway, my point is, that this contradiction between my admiration for certain qualities versus how I feel about a person as a whole can be a real pain in the ass...
I tend to have a romantic view of people... I hold in my head all the things they've done and said that intrigue or impress me. But when I am around these people, I always end up wondering why I didn't notice before that they're completely rude or obnoxious, or petty or boring, or manipulative or malicious... Because that is what I see when they're standing in front of me...
And then I don't see them for a while, and I forget, again, these close-up discoveries, and I go back to imagining them in all their intellectual and artistic glory...
So don't be surprised if I seem disappointed when I see you; I was clearly expecting someone else...
August 01, 2004 - 4:44 p.m.
-
shmuck
May 24, 2004 - 5:49 p.m.
it IS the little things that count...
will something please happen that will make me feel better?
May 11, 2004 - 9:49 p.m.
on the other side of the galaxy...
you're gone from me.
and I wonder: are you gone completely?
you struggled when the time came, but it was the time. i had decided...
i could do nothing to calm you, my hands shaking, my tears falling. i couldn't make it okay. it's not okay.
as your eyes stared blankly, seeing nothing, I selfishly hoped that you could understand...
My lungs are twins in their deception,
Drawing in unwelcome air.
May 10, 2004 - 7:38 p.m.
Beware! This one falls under the TOO MUCH INFORMATION Category!!!
If anyone wants to know what having diarrhea every day for the past 6 months is like, I could give you a great personal description.
And you didn't know why I was so pissy...
Well, just think about it for a minute!!!
May 07, 2004 - 2:37 p.m.
in case you hadn't noticed
i'm not a nice, sweet girl all the time... i don't want to be... sometimes i want to be a bitch just to let some of the pressure out of being a nice, sweet girl.
expectations...
yuck.
April 27, 2004 - 8:19 p.m.
I'm cracking up
and not from hilarity...
April 20, 2004 - 4:16 p.m.
fug u
Just let me wallow for a while, okay?
It's not that I hate you - I just don't like anyone right now...
I feel like moving to a foreign country where I don't speak the language and so have no obligations to the people around me...
99% of the time, I feel like I don't speak anyone else's language anyway, so what the hell...
Time to get going...
Bye.
April 18, 2004 - 1:38 p.m.
Purdy Purply Flowers
