January 08, 2003 - 11:48 p.m.
Missing you.
I'm saying thank you to a friend... here's as good a place as any:
You might not understand why - you probably can't really relate, but I want to say thank you.
I've had a really tough few months, since June I guess, with the whole getting poked and prodded and stretched wide open for cameras and scalpels and doctors over and over again... medicine and more medicine... and wondering when am I going to feel *good*? Not to mention the personal issues aside from the medical... Wow, we started hanging out at an *interesting* time in my life I guess...
I know that we've spoken before about the clear difference between us as far as friends go - you have so many close, connected, wonderful people with whom you share meaningful relationships. Me, not so much.
I don't seem to have the energy to hang out with most of my friends - I guess I feel like I can't live up to their expectations - I can't be the me that they want me to be (that even sometimes I wish I could be) - I'm just so tired...
I hope I haven't been a burden, but it's been really nice having someone I can connect with even in small ways, even just to say hi.
So thank you...
I hope this can continue and grow, with nurturing from both of us.
