February 03, 2004 - 7:29 a.m.
Thank you
Boris sent me a really nice response to my last entry... I love him so much.
February 02, 2004 - 9:30 p.m.
Spinning
So Boris and I were having a conversation with Byron the other day... Mostly it consisted of insulation and particle board, pipes, and electrical wiring... But then Byron started talking about his ex-wife... How they loved eachother and are still friends, but when they're together, they do nothing but argue... Then, somewhat awkwardly, he asks us if we fight a lot... We both say, "Hmm, no, not really."
Now, this is actually true. We do not argue much. I think we both tend to withdraw instead of confront... But I wonder if we argued more, maybe it would be more productive... I don't really want to argue, and I'm glad that we don't, but sometimes I'd rather we argued just so I'd feel like we were communicating on some level or another...
It's almost like we're on these rotating platforms, timed so that our eyes never meet... We're staring at the back of eachother's heads. It makes me nervous because as I feel us drifting, as this seems to be our modality, a cycle that lasts a few days to a week or more, I don't see a way of us coming back together without it being a violent crash of waves... I think we are lucky enough that this crash usually comes in the form of really great sex... But it can't be the only way... I don't want to see this crash manifest itself in negative ways...
I'd like to find a way to stop drifting so much... but how?
Love, we got. Now for the rest...
January 30, 2004 - 8:08 p.m.
More of the same
Not that it will be any more interesting than what you find here (and probably less, in fact,) but I opened up a livejournal account... We'll see...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/groundstruck0/
January 30, 2004 - 3:55 p.m.
Who's Problem is it?
So, I feel a lack of communication... I don't even know the right questions to ask, so that may be my fault there... But, he's certainly not talking, and I think he's to blame for his end of it... I feel like somethign has gone wrong somewhere... I can't pinpoint the when or the what, but somethng is not right right now... I won't deny the possibility that it could be alll in my head, but that seems the least likely at the moment... Something just feels off. Maybe it's all in his head too. Maybe it has nothing to do with me, or us, at all... But I (or we) are being affected by it, no matter the source or the reason...
So, I guess I just don't know what my next step is supposed to be... If I ignore it, that goes against my nature of being an actively caring person - I care damn it! I just feel like there is nothing I can do - and at the same time I have a hard time truly buying into me having no control over the situation whatsoever... What a contradiction. ACH.
January 26, 2004 - 6:35 p.m.
Howdie! Thanks for comin!
We're the Cowpie Sisters. This right here is our first song. We do hope you enjoy it. But if ya don't, well now, you can eat shit.
Step by step, we make our way.
By moonlight, and headlights, we'll be okay.
As long as we find our Reds.
Door number one, it's smokey and dry, but we walk right out with tears in our eyes...
No Reds. No Reds. No Reds.
What's a girl got to do in this town to find some satisfaction?
What's it take to make you see, that your in-stock's not for me.
It lacks luster, and buster, you ain't got a single substitute.
We're aimin to fix our cravin for one little brew!
Hey you!
We want reds!
Now door number two, we could barely get through, and we stand in a crowd full of tall ones.
And we make our way to the waitress and say "Hey!!! Ya got what we're after?"
And she looks all around no reds to be found, and says "Nay" and our search doesn't end.
Now door number three, we had to climb a tree, and say a password, and knock three times, and jingle a bell, and take our shoes off, and smile real purdy, and then they said "Cover please." OH! What a tease!
We were sure that there's where our reds were waitin. But the choice was ours, and instead we got in the car, and left those never-having-reds-stinkin-bar-back-pussies-with-their-buds-and-their-duds-and-their-hey-come-on-ins-and-we'll never go back again...
Jenny and I are starting a band. We'll have merchandise before we have CDs, so you can all be our first groupies, and make everyone else feel so uncool for never having heard our music!!!
